Consider implementing these strategies to improve listening skills:

1. When someone is talking to you, try to stay fully focused on the conversation. Because most of us can’t do two things at one time (or at least do them well), stop whatever else you may be doing when someone is talking to you to improve listening skills.

* If you’re unable to pause what you’re doing, let the person know. Ask them to stop speaking for a bit, and mention briefly why you’re asking them to wait.

* Say something like, “Can you hang on just a minute? I’m adding up some figures. As soon as I’m finished, I can listen to you.”

* Avoid trying to communicate with others while watching television or working on the computer because these distractions will hamper your efforts to really listen.

2. Body language is important to listening. You can improve listening skills by turning your body toward the person speaking.

* Leaning toward the person who’s speaking demonstrates that you’re paying attention.

* Refrain from performing tasks that require you to turn your body away from the speaker, for example, doing dishes or other tasks.

3. Make and maintain eye contact with the speaker. In most western cultures, eye contact sends the message, “I hear you and I’m listening.”

* Furthermore, holding eye contact with the speaker communicates, “You have all of my attention at this moment.”

* Be aware that the meaning and impact of eye contact does vary from culture to culture. So, if you regularly interact with cultures other than your native culture, I suggest you learn about their view on eye contact. In some cultures, it could be considered rude.

4.  Refrain from trying to think about how you want to respond while the person is speaking.

* Focus your thoughts on the speaker’s words.

* Your goal in listening is to grasp what the speaker is trying to tell you, not to draft your response.

5. Share what you understood the person to say with them. When the speaker stops talking, taking a moment to check out what you heard also improves listening skills.

* Try stating aloud back what you believe you heard.

* Here’s an example: “So, you can’t pick up the kids after school today because you have a dental appointment at 3:00 p.m. You want me to pick them up, right?”

6. Let the speaker clarify. As the listener, stating what you heard allows the speaker to correct or clarify his remarks. The speaker then can give you confirmation or correction like, “Yes, that’s right. Can you do it?” or “No, I’m not talking about today, I’m asking you to pick up the kids tomorrow because of my dental appointment.”

7. Don’t forget to improve listening skills in personal relationships also. If you’re in a relationship, listening skills are important building blocks to strengthen the relationship.

* A common complaint of people in relationships is, “My partner doesn’t listen to me.”

* Because partners communicate daily, it’s easy to get lazy with applying good listening skills at home.

When you understand what you’re being told or asked, effective listening takes place. If you believe you could benefit by focusing more on people who are speaking to you, you aren’t alone. I am very confident in my speaking skills but know that I could stand to improve listening skills especially when talking on the phone.  What about you? Could you stand to improve your listening skills? You’ll be a better communicator and your relationships with others will thrive!

I hope you’re planning a POWERFUL day!

Allegra

Small Talk Ideas To Improve Your Networking Skills

If you want to increase your circle of influence and advance in your career, a few simple small talk ideas can help you learn to connect with others more easily. I recently wrote about the ways that overcoming shyness can improve your communication skills. Small talk is another tool to add to your communications toolbox. Here are 3 simple steps for striking up conversation and making the most of networking events:

Prepare For Small Talk Before A Networking Event

1. Have a few topics of conversation prepared in advance. Stay current with non-controversial community and world events. Read the latest industry publications. Offer sincere compliments if you like someone’s hat or if you know that they recently won an award.
2. Rehearse answers to common small talk questions. Practice your responses to questions that you hear all the time. Put an interesting or amusing spin on your description of where you work or your hometown.
3. Check your body language. Above all, try to relax. Appearing confident and friendly will help you have a good time and meet more people. You’ll also help those around you to feel more at ease.

Basic Small Talk Ideas

1. Greet people professionally and make a good first impression. Take the initiative to say hello and offer your name. Smile and shake hands. Repeat the other person’s name so you’ll be more likely to remember it.
2. Ask open-ended questions to keep the dialogue flowing. A good small talk tactic is to ask people about their impressions and experiences.
3. Practice active listening. Give people your full attention and show your enthusiasm. Turn off your cell phone or at least put it on vibrate if you are expecting an urgent call.
4. Keep it brief. Leave people wanting more. Learn to excuse yourself tactfully by mentioning that you need to speak with someone or get something to eat. The art of small talk is letting people know that you appreciated meeting them or hope to see them again without overstaying your welcome.

Special Tips for Using Small Talk at Networking Events

1. Take advantage of easy icebreakers. Networking events are designed for meeting people, so seize the opportunity. It’s natural to talk about why you came and the benefits you’re hoping to achieve. Just take an equal interest in helping others with their goals to make your small talk effective.
2. Ask for information if you’re a newcomer. If it’s your first time, ask others for their guidance. Many people will be flattered to share their knowledge. Tell the workers at the registration desk that you’re new, and they may point out people on their welcoming committee or other people in your line of business.
3. Offer assistance if you’re a veteran. If you’re already familiar with the organization, help newcomers feel at home. You may make valuable connections and you’ll create a positive environment for everybody.
4. Exchange introductions. Broaden your network by identifying people you want to meet and mutual colleagues who can help introduce you. Be ready to reciprocate when others ask for introductions. Check the registration sheet for the names and affiliations of interesting people or use business-oriented social networks like LinkedIn to get more ideas.
5. Exchange business cards. When you’ve had a promising conversation that moved beyond small talk, use your business card to help make a lasting connection. Offer your card and a specific reason for staying in touch. Make notes on their back of their card about any promises you made or other important details from your conversation.

Get comfortable with meeting new people. They want to get to know you! These small talk ideas can help you build your self-confidence and broaden your social and business networks. When is the last time you intentionally met someone new? What other small talk ideas do you have?

I hope you’re planning a POWERFUL day!

Allegra

photo credit: HikingArtist.com

I hope you’ll take time to check out this great post at the Harvard Business review blog. Whitney Johnson stresses the need to figure out what your unique contributions are to the world and focus on those instead of trying to be what everybody else already is.

“When selling yourself in the talent marketplace, it can be all too easy to focus on the strengths that were hard-won or are required of the job in question. But these skills are often the ones that many other people have, too.”  The article is talking about setting yourself apart in a job hunt but at a basic level, they are talking about developing the ability to self yourself. You need to know how to sell yourself to get a job, get a new client, get a new joint-venture business partner and so on and so on.

The Malcolm Forbes quote at the top of the post seems to give the same advice—which is not to overlook your unique talents but realize how what you excel at sets you apart. If you’re a great accountant but you also love writing do you see how that could be valuable to a business partner or employer? Everybody might be able to get basic accounting skills, but everybody cannot write. So you could be better suited to a wide variety of positions that have accounting functions but provide so much more to the organization or team.

Not sure what your super skills are? There are tons of books (What Color Is Your Parachute, Now Discover Your Strengths, etc.) that could help you discover them, but you could also start by asking close friends, family or business colleagues. You might be surprised to find out what skills they value. ‘Your most stand-out talent is probably something you do without even thinking’.

What do you think? Join the conversation using the comment box below.

I hope you are planning a POWERFUL day!